Songtext Champagne lecture von Frank Zappa

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Playground psychotics

1992

01. "don't eat there"
02. "don't take me down"
03. "here comes the gear, lads"
04. "it's a good thing we get paid to do this"
05. "there's no lust in jazz"
06. "this is neat"
07. "you there, with the hard on!"
08. I'm doomed
09. Learning "penis dimension"
10. The spew king
11. The living garbage truck
12. A typical sound check
13. The motel lobby
14. Getting stewed
15. The motel room
16. The dressing room
17. Zanti serenade
18. Divan
19. Brixton still life
20. Super grease
21. Wonderful wino
22. Sharleena
23. Cruising for burgers
24. Diptheria blues
25. Well
26. Say please
27. Aaawk
28. Scum bag
29. A small eternity with yoko ono
30. Beer shampoo
31. Champagne lecture
32. Childish perversions
33. Playground psychotics
34. The mud shark interview
35. Botulism on the hoof
36. You got your armies
37. Status back baby
38. The london cab tape
39. Concentration moon, part one
40. The sanzini brothers
41. Concentration moon, part two
42. Mom & dad
43. Intro to music for low budget orchestra
44. Billy the mountain
45. He's watching us
46. If you're not a professional actor
47. He's right
48. Going for the money

Champagne lecture

FZ: You know, a lotsa of people don't bother about their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM. They think, "What can I say? What can a person who is new to the Midwest say to a vegetable?"
Howard: Suss it out, wankers!
Mark: Suss it out, wankers!
Mark & Howard: Suss it out, wankers!
Jeff: Suss it out, wankers
FZ: Suss it out, wankers!
Mark & Howard: Suss it out, wankers!
Aynsley: Suss it out, wankers . . . what's the matter with you?
Howard: Aynsley Dunbar!
FZ: And after sussed it out, wankers . . .
Mark: Ok
FZ: You go and get yourself a big bottle of champagne!
Mothers: AAAH!
FZ: Find yourself a young vegetable victim!
Mothers: Yeah!
FZ: Take your young vegetable victim . . . Step one, now this is very important, you have to do it exactly this way. Bring the band on down behind me, boys, this gets technnical! First: You get a Polaroid camera . . .
Mothers: Yeah!
FZ: And you make one good jump, from a balcony to another balcony on the seventh floor of the Sheraton Hotel in Jacksonville
Howard: Aynsley Dunbar, ladies and gentlemen
FZ: When you land on the other balcony with your Polaroid camera, something like this . . .
Mothers: Heeey!
FZ: Shoot off one good flashbulb catching . . . The agent will immediately turn around and say, "You know, I sure would like to have that photograph." You walk up to the agent and say, "Well, ha, funny you should mention it, I have this photograph here and just about time to develop it, yes it turned out great, it shows both of you here, and I'll give you this photograph if you'll give me the munchkin vegetable that you're with in order that I might make a few more pictures . . . " So you make a quick trade, holding the champagne bottle in abeyance until the rest of the members of your band have jumped over the same balcony . . .
Mothers: Eeeeeeeeh!
FZ: And come in and taken their places around the bed where the munchkin vegetable is laid out, posing: Leg up in the air and legs down, legs to the side. Then, after some deft manipulation of the vital parts of the munchkin vegetable . . .
Jeff: Hey, I want some baby to hold my tool and squeeze it
FZ: With one masterful stroke -you might use several masterful strokes- shake up the magnum of champagne to a foamy froth, holding your thumb over the end of it . . .
Aynsley: No, no, no . . . not the cork in, Frank, you pull the cork out . . . Suss it out, wankers!
Howard: They're a hip audience, Frank, they know what's gonna happen next!
FZ: After the band has given you their complete attention, and is watching closely for the precise moment of the detonation of the alcoholic beverage into the vital organ, you give a sort of casual glance around the bedroom of the Sheraton, a suave little smile and wink one eye, adjust your bow tie, and just stuff it right in there!
Mothers: Aaaah!
FZ: And then you tell 'em how you feel. You whip it right out, take a snort off of it . . .
Howard: How do you feel?
Mark: Aynsley Dunbar . . .
FZ: No, no, no . . .