Songtext Ira's brief life as a spider Of Montreal

Ira's brief life as a spider

All the baby spiders in the nursery
waving to each other clinging to their mothers
and smile at their dads who say
"Now that's a clever lad"
One particular spider, who's parents had named Ira, fell out of his mother's
arms and became lost inside the giant insect hospital. Since mother spiders give
birth to so many babies at one time it is exceedingly difficult to keep track of
all of them and sometimes a baby will get lost without it's mother ever being
aware of its absence. Ira was just such a case. He crawled about for hours
crying but his mother couldn't hear him for Ira was a mute. This is where the
story gets interesting.
He opened his mouth and discovered a lake in a crater on his tongue. He was
thirsty so he drank from the lake. This proved to be a fatal mistake as the lake
was really a cake filled with poisonous snakes, and Ira died.
A nurse discovered dead baby Ira and sank with grief. She gently lifted him up
to her breast and carried him weeping to the head nurse to see if any baby
spiders had been reported missing. The head nurse checked her missing baby
spider file and told her that "No, no missing baby spiders have been reported."
The nurse holding dead baby Ira then asked if they could have a funeral for him.
The head nurse, being a very caring grasshopper, agreed that that would be the
proper thing to do. So they dug a small hole near a yellow tulip, held a brief
but moving requiem and with great sadness buried baby Ira.
Miraculously, Ira was quickly reincarnated as a wild horse on the far off planet
called Nearly. on Nearly, wild horses hold the majority in the senate and Ira
has discovered pudding. His favorite is the kind without raisins.
All the baby spiders in the nursery
waving to each other clinging to their mothers
and smile at their dads who say
"Now that's a clever lad"