Songtext Talkin' candy bar blues Peter, Paul & Mary

Talkin' candy bar blues

(spoken story with guitar accompaniment)
Bought a candy bar the other day,
Only ate half, sgonna throw the rest away
When I saw this kid playin in the street,
I said hey kid, you want somethin to eat?
He said whut?
I said candy, son. he said help!
Then he started to run,
And I stood there,
Watchin him go,
Half a bar of chocolate
Runnin down my fingers.

Well the kid comes back in a minute or two
But his moms with him and the neighbors too,
And they got the kid scared its plain to see,
They say which one done it? he points at me.
He says him. I say what do you mean?
He says you! then he starts to scream,
And Im standin, everybodys lookin,
Everybodys starin -at me- ... (nervous laugh)

Howdy doody...yall waitin for the bus?
Ah ... a little late isnt it ... anybody got a watch? ...
We could uh see how late it is ...
I got a better idea, lets find somebody with a watch
And stare at him!

Well some start pickin up baseball bats
And the others are pullin the pins from their hats -
I think this things gone a little too far,
Hell, I only offered him a candy bar! I said wait!
I said what are you doin?
They said pre-vert the kids life is ruined!
Oh...oh well then you better check what hes chewin
Cause I got the feelin
Hes in the middle of a bubble gum orgy!

Well theyre comin at me and Im backin away
And then I hear this policeman say
Are you positive hes the right man?
(I quick flicked the candy bar out of my hand).
He says show me.
I says show ya what?
He says the candy bar you degen-a-rut and he grabs me.
He grabs both my hands.
Pretty easy to see ...
Which hands got the chocolate!

Well Ive had some troubled times before,
But none like the trip from the candy store ...
Sympathize with the kid all right,
Somebodys nice to ya, probably aint right.
Ill grow up, Ill learn the way.
Ill learn so that my later daysll be prosperous.
(chocolate covered) ...
If I dont bite off more than I can hide.