Some folks ride like the wind
With the whispering pines to guide them
And the burning light inside them
Keeps them warm in the snow
Others fear the sounds they hear
Make bandito's out of mole-hills
Fill their hearts with porcupine quills
They’re dead and buried long before they go
Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand
His immortal soul my lay forever in the sand
The angels wouldn’t take him up to heaven like he planned
‘Cause they couldn’t pry that gun from his cold dead
hand
It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger
It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure
With your cold dead aim you’re trying to prove your dick
is bigger
But we know your chariot may not be swinging low
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
You’re a big big man with an little bitty gland
So you need something bigger just to fill
Your cold dead hand
Imagine if the lord were here
And he knew what you’ve been thinkin’
Would his sacred heart be sinkin’
Into the canyon of dismay
And on the ones who sell the guns
He’d signal vultures and coyotes
Only the devil’s true devotees
Could profiteer from pain and fear
Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand
His immortal soul my lay forever in the sand
The angels wouldn’t take him up to heaven like he planned
‘Cause they couldn’t pry that gun from his cold dead
hand
It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger
It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure
With your cold dead aim you’re trying to prove your junk
is bigger
But we know your chariot may not be swinging low
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
You’re a big big man with an little bitty gland
So you need something bigger with a hair-pin trigger
You don’t want to get caught with your trousers down
When the psycho killer comes around
So you make your home like a thunderdome
And you’re always packin’ everywhere you roam
But the psycho’s win no matter what you do
‘Cause they’re gonna buy way more guns than you
And while you’re stumbling out of bed
They put five rounds in the back of your head
Or you get depressed ‘cause the money runs out
Then you put your own shotgun in your mouth
And your kids walk in and they find you there
Like a headless stump in your underwear
And they move the gun and it kills them too
And your wife just doesn’t know what to do
But she takes a hand grenade from her shoe
And she pulls the pin...
And it’s all on you
And your cold dead hand
James Eugene "Jim" Carrey (born January 17, 1962) is a Canadian-American actor and comedian. Carrey began stand-up comedy in 1979 while under the management of Leatrice Spevack, performing at Yuk Yuk's in Toronto, Ontario. After becoming a major hit in 1981 he began working at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles where he was soon noticed by comedian Rodney Dangerfield, who immediately signed him to open his tour performances. Carrey soon became interested in film and television, and after developing a close friendship with comedian Damon Wayans landed a role in his brothers sketch comedy hit, In Living Color in which he portrayed various characters during 1990. Having not had much success in television movies and several low budget films, Carrey was soon cast as the title character in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective which premiered in February, 1994 making $159,537,178 domestically and over $400 million worldwide. Despite mixed reviews, this film has been considered the pinnacle of his film career and stardom. The film even spawned a sequel, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) in which he reprised the role of Ventura. These higher-profile roles eventually led to his being cast as Stanley Ipkiss in The Mask (1994) for which he gained a Golden Globe Award nomination for Best Actor in Motion Picture Musical or Comedy, and as Lloyd Christmas in the comedy film, Dumb and Dumber (1994).
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