Songtext You don't have to be a prostitute Flight Of The Conchords

You don't have to be a prostitute

It's a cold night beneath the street lights
There's a man whose pants are too tight
Oh no, his pants are too tight
My pants are too tight

He stands there, an empty stare
Tryin' to make enough money for his cab fare home
He'll have to walk home tonight
Don't have enough for the ride

The streets are cruel, he doesn't act cool
He goes to work with only his one tool
You can put away your tool
Jemaine...

You don't have to be a prostitute (no, no, no, no)
You can say no to being a man-ho - a male gigolo!
You don't have to be a prostitute (no, no, no, no)
You can say no to being night-looker, boy-hooker, rent boy, bro-ho

He can't see his way out
I cannot see my way out
He can't see his way out
Male prostitution seems to be my only option
He can't see his way out
I cannot see my way out
He can't see his way out
No, no, no, no!

He's selling cheap thrills to pay expensive bills
But check your resume, you must have some other skills
Do you have any other skills?
Like typing!

They see him, want him to please them
Want him to play them but they don't even pay him
Oh no, they don't think he's worth it at all...

Though they are no one, he tries to bring them home
Maybe it'd be okay if he lived alone
You have a roommate, Jemaine
Don't bring them home!

You don't have to be a prostitute (no, no, no, no)
You can say no to being a man-ho - a male gigolo!
You don't have to be a prostitute (no, no, no, no)
You can say no to being night-looker, boy-hooker, rent boy, bro-ho