Songtext The laughing gnome David Bowie

The laughing gnome

I was walking down the high street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man (hello)
In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (laughter)
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (oaah..)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day (laughter)

Oh, I ought to report you to the gnome office
(gnome office)
Yes
(hahahahaha)

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
Said the laughing gnome

Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine (burp, pardon)
Then I put him on a train to eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
(havent you got a light boy? )
Here, where do you come from?
(gnome-mans land, hahihihi)
Oh, really?

In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was fred
Hed bought him along to sing me a song

Right, lets hear it
Here, whats that clicking noise?
(thats fred, hes a metrognome, haha)

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me

(own up, Im a gnome, aint I right, haha)
Havent you got an ome to go to?
(no, were gnomads)
Didnt they teach you to get your hair cut at school? you look like a rolling gnome.
(no, not at the london school of ecognomics)

Now theyre staying up the chimney
And were living on caviar and honey (hooray!)
Cause theyre earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
Its the-er (what? )
Its the gnome service of course

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me
Ha ha ha, oh, dear me

(ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me)

(one more time, yeah)